Writing About Your Life Forces You to Face It

How being more self-aware in your stories makes readers pay attention.

Hi, it’s John from the Writing to (L)Earn team. Today, I’d like to share one of the best frameworks I’ve learned for writing personal stories that resonate with readers.

I think most of us began writing because we carried a story or idea that could only be communicated through the written word. Writing lets us shape significant life moments into something others can use.

But an event or memory that is narrated isn’t a story; it’s a journal entry. If we want to earn attention (and a living) from our words, we need an angle that lifts raw events into a story that grabs and keeps our readers.

Recently, I attended a writing retreat with a workshop led by award‑winning author Danny Ramadan. He explained a framework called the “Three Bodies Problem” for personal storytelling:

• The present self (Body 1): This is you right now. You have better clarity about events in your life because you can look at them in hindsight. With the wisdom you’ve gained over the years, you’re able to spot patterns and potential causes that you couldn’t have seen or understood while things were happening. But the present self is limited in that it can sometimes reinterpret past events in a way that distorts the memory. It can smooth out messy feelings too neatly, or assign meaning that wasn’t actually there at the time.

• The past self (Body 2): Your past self remembers more of the sensory details. It might know what the memory smelled like, how things appeared, and what you felt in that exact moment. If you’ve ever written about your childhood or a turning point in your early career, you’ll know what I mean. But the past self is also limited in that it doesn’t yet know how the moment will ripple forward. It can’t see the long-term impact its choices will have on the present you.

• The creative writer self (Body 3): This self wants to tell a good story. Life is messy and often incoherent. But the creative writer, especially when well-trained, wants to shape a story in a way that drives the point home. The limit, of course, is that in trying to make the story “work,” this self might leave out key details or experiences just because they don’t fit the narrative. Doing so can take away the raw, messy truth that often gives power to a personal story.

When you’re able to overlap these three bodies in a way that draws on each one’s strengths while minimizing their limits, that’s when your personal story resonates with readers.

Let's break down exactly how to do this

1. Start with your raw truth (Past Self)

Begin by honestly documenting what happened. No judgment or hindsight analysis yet. Just capture the experience exactly as you remember it. Focus on feelings, sensations, and immediate reactions.

The purpose here is to make your story feel alive.

I think Michael does this well in his book Shy By Design. At the beginning of the book, he shares a story about his son that, in a subtle but powerful way, shows how being an introvert can be an advantage:

When my son Liam finished first grade, my wife, Laia, and I sat down with his teacher for his year-end review. She explained that during the last week of each school year, she asks the students to write the name of the one classmate they appreciated most having by their side. Given that Liam is shy and has a speech impediment, we were surprised to learn that he and the other reserved children dominated the list. “It’s like this every year,” his teacher told us as she showed us the nice comments his classmates had written about him. “It’s always the quiet ones. It really makes you question who the truly popular kids are, doesn’t it?”

When documenting an important memory from your past, whether it’s something that happened to you or someone you know, think in terms of sensations: What did you hear, see, and feel?

2. Think about the ONE most interesting thing you’ve learned (Present Self)

When astronauts see the Earth from space, they experience the “Overview Effect.” It’s this state of awe and a shift in perspective where they become acutely aware of the planet’s fragility, its deep interconnectedness, and a renewed sense of responsibility to protect it.

The experience is so overwhelming that astronauts come back with life lessons and realizations they can barely put into words.

Now, most of us haven’t seen Earth from space. But I think we’ve all had at least one moment in life that felt just as full. A moment so packed with meaning that insights and reflections spill out faster than we can write them down.

The key here isn’t to try to tell everything. But to pick the ONE most interesting thing we’ve learned from the experience. And focus on communicating that to our reader.

Try to step back and ask yourself: Why did this event stick with you? What truths do you see clearly now that were hidden back then?

3. Make the story do the work (Creative Self)

Back in 2019, I had just lost my tech startup job and, after three months of fruitless job searching, I felt so frustrated that I ended up writing. I talked about a specific moment:

One summer afternoon, I came across a group of university girls in their preppy summer dresses, and I realized that my prospects looked very dark… The “summer girls” were on their way out of our residential building, probably off to some hip, summer weekend party with friends. I, on the other hand, had $23 in my pocket, the only money left in an otherwise empty bank account. I had exactly 15 days left to muster enough funds to pay my rent (while feeding myself at the same time); otherwise, I had to move out. The countless job applications and freelance project proposals I had sent all over were either rejected or ignored.

In contrast to those girls in their designer summer dresses and carefree days, I was broke, unemployed, and alone…

The article was published in the print op-ed section of a national newspaper. Within days, I started getting job offers and client inquiries.

Now, a lot was happening during that time. I was living on the 35th floor of a condo, and during a job interview call, I leaned out the window to get a better signal. My hand slipped, and my phone fell and broke onto the highway below. I also had a strange interview with a recruiter, who I later suspected was from a fraudulent company. There were insightful calls with family and friends. And one night, after a long day of job rejections, I went to a bar to unwind. I could only afford a bottle of water, but a nearby table offered me free beers. It was a gesture that, strangely, helped keep me going.

But in the article, I focused on that specific moment of crossing the street with a group of university students in bright summer dresses. That story caught readers’ attention. It helped them see the human behind the article. And the way I told the rest of the story demonstrated my skills as both a writer and a marketer, landing me the job I needed.

Three practical ways to ensure your story connects

• Share your fears: Readers relate strongly to vulnerability. If self-doubt or fear accompanied your story, show it. It’s relatable and humanizes you instantly.

• Show change clearly: Make sure your readers see exactly how you've changed and why it matters, not just for you but also for them.

• Highlight universal insights: Find the universal lesson or insight your story conveys. Clearly articulate how your experience might help your readers.

Writing about your life, with self-awareness, can sometimes feel uncomfortable. But facing your life honestly on the page turns your stories into something readers truly care about. It also helps you grow better as a person.

Until next time!

—John, with Darius & Michael